Miramare Queen Hotel All Inclusive

This hotel is awesome, food, hospitality, quality of things and people were all amazing. My special thanks should go to the Kids Club team, though. My daughter had a blast during our 5 day visit, she got hooked on the kids club and she never missed any event. Eda, Kanykei and Beyza, they all did a wonderful job with the childrens science experiments, cookie baking, car painting events, night movies for kids and kids dance events every night, etc. They are super friendly to kids and they always came and said hi outside kids club too, so it was as if they are actual friends of my daughter. I can not thank them enough for giving my daughter the most wonderful vacation this summer.

1st day here but wow how beautiful this place is, you literally have everything you need for a perfect trip

ANSWER TO HOTEL: Ah, the famous ISO-certified kitchen, where even the bacteria get the 5-star treatment. My compliments to the chef for the unique pairing of bacterias (not a virus) and antibiotics from nearest hospital—truly unforgettable. Maybe instead of perfecting your replies, you could perfect your cleaning routine? I did share my concerns with the front desk and the guest relations team. Their response? A heartfelt shrug. “Your stuff, your problem” is apparently the customer service mantra. At least they’re consistent—unlike the food hygiene. --- Welcome to Maramare Queen, the five-star disaster where misery is served all-inclusive. From suffocating heat in rooms without functional A/C to the perfume of sewage wafting through the air, every moment here is an adventure in suffering. Add daily food poisoning, hospital trips that cost a fortune, and a buffet so bland it could double as punishment, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a vacation from hell. Hotel Horrors: Where Dreams Go to Die 1. A/C: A Privilege, Not a Right Think you’re paying for 24/7 air conditioning? Think again! The central system dances to the whims of management. After October 30th, they graciously switch it off entirely. The solution? Open the balcony door for some “fresh air,” and in return, welcome a battalion of mosquitoes ready to turn your night into a buffet—you being the main course. 2. Smell the Experience Who needs luxury perfumes when you can enjoy the ever-present aroma of sewage wafting through the grounds? Depending on the wind, your room could be an olfactory nightmare. 3. Dining with the Invisible Dining service? More like a ghost story. Staff conveniently vanish when you need them most. If you’re lucky, you’ll get your fresh juice and drip coffee since these are the only that cannot be obtained from buffet. 4. The Joyless Buffet Variety is overrated, apparently. Enjoy the same bland dishes on repeat. Coffee comes in powdered misery form, while the morning drip coffee and fresh juices are the sole highlights—until they disappear entirely come November. Beer? Watered down unless you supervise every pour like a hawk. 5. A Smoky Inferno If you’re not a smoker, you will be by osmosis. This place is a giant ashtray where every guest puffs away like a chimney, turning every “smoke-free zone” into a hilarious suggestion. 6. Sleepless Nights Guaranteed Love peace and quiet? Tough luck! The hotel blasts loud, low-frequency music until 11 PM, while neighboring hotels extend the party to 1 AM. The best music of the entire trip? One decent playlist in 21 days. 7. Safety is an Afterthought Don’t bother bringing valuables to the beach—they’ll vanish faster than a waiter in the dining hall. Guards shrug it off, and the hotel? Oh, they’re totally on it… by doing absolutely nothing. 8. Health Roulette Maramare’s signature dish? Food poisoning. Guests routinely head to the hospital, paying €350 per person plus €40 in taxi fares. One unlucky German family took an all-inclusive trip straight to the ER. The hotel? Zero support and a demand for €2 for a hospital landline call—pay up or stay hostage at checkout! 9. Beach Battle Royale First, you’ll need to fight off hordes of guests for a lounger. With more people than seats, the scene resembles a survival show—only less fun. 10. Ice-Cold Beach Fun Nothing like the invigorating chill of a river outlet dumping icy water near the swimming area. Perfect for ruining a sunny day. 11. Lost in Translation Unless you’re fluent in German or Turkish, good luck. English speakers are rarer than a clean beach lounger, and Russian fares only slightly better. 12. Justice in Slow Motion Fishermen flouting swim zone laws? Don’t worry—the hotel and police will handle it… may be... 13. Wi-Fi That Isn’t Forget streaming or even basic browsing. The Wi-Fi struggles to handle anything, even during the low season. Perfect for disconnecting—against your will. Turkey: The Bonus Round of Misery Domestic flights between Antalya and Istanbul are a lottery. Show up late? Even with a boarding pass, you could be bumped.